Friday, June 5, 2015

She was my Sister and She's Gone ...

~ Becky and Me ~

She was my Sister ...

Becky was born on November 11, 1962. I was three years young. She was the fourth girl to be brought home from the hospital and she seemed perfect.

As the legend goes ... 
When Becky was 3 months old, she began to show signs that something was wrong.

Yes, very wrong.

She was diagnosed with a hole in her brain where it had not developed. She began to have grand mal seizures.

At that time, not much was known about what was then called profound mental retardation and epileptic seizures. As a consequence, Becky suffered a static grand mal seizure when she was two years old that took everything away. She lost cognitive abilities and her speech.

I remember when that happened and how we'd lost our sister. Then, one year later, my parents and bully grandparents made the decision to place her in a home that was not our own. It's unimaginable to think of being six years old and my sister just went away ...


A lot was lost with that decision that we as a family will never be able to get back. There is a lot of pain. The Doctors told my parents that Becky would not live past age six.  Well, she did. She lived her life for 46 years past six and then she began to decline.

The past three months have been rough. When the phone rang, we knew it was about Becky and it was bad. After nine 9-11 calls and trips to the emergency room in 8 weeks, we were in crisis mode.  That came to an end exactly one week ago today. She passed away under the care of a "Hospice Angel." She died in her sleep.  I knew it was going to happen, but when the hospice nurse called at 4:30 a.m. to tell me she was gone ... I was overwhelmed with that feeling again.


You see, she was my sister. She was the sister I knew. The sister I didn't know. The forgotten sister who was never forgotten. The sister I knew we'd have to take care of after my Mom passed. But for this ending, things happened out of order and instead, she's just gone.


She had no husband, children or even a first grade education. She had no friends or foes. She had no debt, never drove a car, had no idea what a computer or a cell phone was. The Internet? Nope. There were no dreams unfulfilled or "bucket list" ...

She's nearly untraceable. Her entire footprint on society is one social security number. That's it. She will be remembered, though. All the staff,  therapists and doctors favored her. She wasn't able to do much with a cognitive ability of 12 months, but she had a strong spirit. She was opinionated and she knew what she did and didn't want. You see, she was my sister ...

It's been one week. It's felt like a lifetime. A lifetime of tragedy, a lifetime of pain ... My lifetime. 

My heart aches for her and  for my older sister, Debbie who I am sure has found her and has taught her about 70's rock and roll, that "girls like to party" and I am positive that  Becky has already had her first beer. Deb would never believe pot will be legal. I sure wish I could tell her that.

Goodbye, Becky. For all your struggles and suffrage through life ... I'm happy you didn't know about the ugly side of the world. I'm glad you left this world as innocent as you arrived. You leave this earth unscathed by the knowledge of all the things that went on around you in the 52 years you were here. That gives me peace.

In my heart, you will never be ...  


Your Sis

 photo Justmeangieesig.png

1 comment:

  1. I cried. I actually cried reading this story. Sorry for your loss (though I know too well that words are just words and cant even attempt to make it better). What a tragic story from a young age but man did she ever overcome by living well passed her predicted age! It matters not how big a footprint she left on this earth it matters that she left one and those whose heart she touched will hold her dear in their hearts forever. My prayers/thoughts are with you Ang!


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