I miss my blog ...

What the hell is up with me not blogging?

I start a blog, I check Facebook, I check my Email. I look at Twitter, Pinterest and then I go on Amazon.com to see what I can buy because I know I can get it in two days. Do I buy anything? No. Then I look at my Blog and I'm so worn out from my web surfing, I delete what I've written and think, "tomorrow."

Tomorrow has become weeks and I miss my blog, the bloglovin girls and I feel like I've lost my momentum and maybe even my mojo.

So here I am ... blogging without a plan. A random offering of random stuff.

So many things coming up. I'm excited to go on vacation this Sunday. We're going to Beach Bum Headquarters for 10 days. I love our Beach House. It's cute and quaint. We spend time just being Beach Bums. Lots of time on the beach. Walking the golden girls a few miles up the beach, finding lunch at a cafe and then strolling back. The best part is the girls swimming in the Ocean, they are so much fun to watch. Pure joy!

Okay, so random blogging wouldn't be complete without saying that Tim received his HR packet for retirement and he has 30 work days left! That's from now until September 30th. We. are. getting. really. close! Oh, Swag!

Cool, cool stuff. I received my first product review offer! I think it was commenting on Amanda's blog. Sorry, Amanda ... I forgot how to tag you. Anyway, it's from eShatki and I've ordered this dress. They custom make the dress to your measurements and not only do I get a cute dress, I also like the measurements I sent in! Stay tuned for my review!

I've been busy, busy. I walked relay for life. I walked 18 miles in 5 hours on Team Jeb. My buddy who lost his battle with cancer. Tim and I are building a 100' fence. Fence building in 90 degree weather is tough! I'm still teamed up with my partner in crime, Ann and we are taking down City Hall. We've been at it for two months and we've stopped the ordinance from being voted in for now. 

Next month is Portland to Coast. I walk on a relay team and we're going to have a blast. I got my leg assignment and it's a little intimidating. I'll need to get out and walk some steep hills to prep. I walk straight up for 2 miles and down 5 more and that sounds tough. My second leg is almost 4 miles of rolling hills. The relay is about 30 hours. We walk across Oregon and end up at a big party at the beach! It's safe to say I'm a walker ...

Is Happiness your Fate?

Life

It hits us all in different ways. One thing that seems the same is none of us escape being broken and flawed in the process.

Broken

Being broken is an act of terror for most of us. Someone or something hurt us, manipulated us, exploited us or lied to us. Did they do that as an act of terror or were they simply paying it forward? Broken people seem to be stuck in a cycle.

Flawed

Nobody's perfect. Really, nobody! We all have flaws. We wouldn't if we could choose not to, but there are too many things that can go wrong before they go right.

So, if this is our life and we're broken and flawed, what do we do? First we take inventory of what we've done in the past. Has it worked? Did anything change? If you are not completely happy, the answer is likely, No. The reason for that is if something isn't changing, we need to change the dance.  

Sabotage 

Like sabotage. Do you want something really bad and when you get close to it, you blow it? Weight loss and relationships come to mind. What is with getting within 5 lbs. of a weight loss goal and diving head first into a tub of ice cream? Why when you've found the partner of your dreams do you create drama? Is it that you don't deserve happiness? No.

Fear

It's fear. Fear controls many of us. Fear of the past, fear of the present, fear of the unknown. How can we find freedom from our fears? The answer is in your mindfulness. Being mindful is being fully conscious of the present. What's behind you and what's ahead of you have nothing to do with what's in front of you.

What's in front of you is your power to do more than survive. Living is the next step after survival. Let go of the past and give yourself the chance to fully live.  LET GO OF THE PAST.

Fate

Do you tell yourself you want to be happy? What if happiness is your fate? Does that mess up your plans to sabotage yourself? Is that so deep of a subject that you need to dig yourself out? Relax. There's help.

Try this. Find that little guy that talks to you in your head and put him in charge of your thoughts. A "Hall Monitor" of sorts. He's now in charge of "catching" your thoughts. Once he's "caught" one it's time to question it. Here's the quiz:

1. Is it true?  2. Does it serve me?  

I find that 100% of my ill-willed and sabotaging thoughts are neither of those. "They don't care about me." Is that true? No. Does it serve me? No. "I'm fat." Is that true? No. Does it serve me? No. "I can't." "I'm not good enough." "I'll fail." ... You get the picture.

Happiness

Try this. "Can I change my behavior?" Yes. Will it serve me? Yes. "I deserve to be happy and in healthy, loving relationships with myself and others." Is that true? Yes. Does it serve me? Yes ...

Time to find your truths and let them serve you ...

Mirror, Mirror, Who is that in the Mirror?

I'm not going to lie to you. I've always hated mirrors. I never see what I want to see. I never feel what I want to feel. I just look and think, "oh well' ... I'll go on a diet and then I'll "look" better.

Isn't that what we think its all about? How we look? I've spent most my life being vain worried about how I look. I even had "Halloween Pants" for years. What the hell are those? This one pair of black pants that I would put on each year to measure my "worth."

Luckily, more years than not, they fit. I have no idea what happened to those pants. Pants that determined my worth should have had a ceremonial burning of some sort.  I wish I had those "Halloween Pants" now ...  Burn Fuckers, Burn!

How can a pair of stinking pants have so much power? They didn't. I gave it to them. I tortured myself worrying about what people thought of me. It has always been about THE PANTS!

What kind of pants? "Magic Pants" ... The pair I thought I looked skinnier okay in. In black. I'd be  afraid they'd go out of stock so I'd buy a few pairs in 3 different sizes for those "fluctuations" in my self esteem weight.

So as I lost weight this year, I was putting on those "magic pants" until they all fell off of me as I shrunk and people started asking me where I got them. "Those are so cute!" Okay, what the hell happened? I'd worn that size those pants before. No one except me said they were cute. Truth is they were all of a sudden "cute" because the "magic" was that my shape changed.

So yesterday I passed a mirror in a store. I saw an image and thought, "Is that me?" I looked around to see if anyone was watching and walked back in front of the mirror. There I was in my shorts. I saw my front, my side, my front, my butt, my side. You get the idea.

It was me! I looked athletic. I looked strong and lean. I looked healthy.

I came back to the beach house and told Tim what happened. I told him how athletic I looked. He said, "I know." I told him how my shape had changed. He said, "I know." I told him how happy I am. He said, "I know." He always knows.

That mirror was a who needs "Magic Pants"moment. It's about being Strong and Healthy. It's about Feeling Good. It's about Loving Myself ...

Who was in that mirror? Just Me!

Random Shit about Just Me!

Today I've decide write some random shit about myself. Believe me, there's plenty, but when the Bloglovin girls do confessions, I can't ever come up with anything.


First off, I'm stubborn. When Tim and I went on our honeymoon in Mexico 30 years ago, he bought me this little wooden donkey ass and thought it was so funny. I was only 24 years old at the time so I played along although I wasn't very happy about it. Today I know it to be true, so here's a little donkey for you, Tim!

I also love to dance. I dance all the time. Wouldn't it be great if dancing was a mainstream as say, running or sitting?  I think I'm a good dancer, but I suppose that's subjective.

 I really believe I was or will be an Orca. I'm happiest in or by water and I can swim for hours. I favor black and white in clothes, but recently I'm dressing more and more out of my color box. I always feel most at home in my Orca colors.

Favorite thing is being anywhere with Palm trees. Palm trees are my happy place. I see one and I instantly feel relaxed. They're my ultimate chill pill.

In Cabo!

I also love to skip. Whenever I am feeling young or want to, I tend to get my skip on. I have no idea who's seen me skip because when I'm a skip-ping ... I don't care!

What's something random about you?

Happy Monday ... A Weekend Recap!

Hey, Happy 7th of July!

What's that mean? That means the 4th of July weekend is over. Time to put away your stars and stripes diaper t-shirt and other patriotic gizmos until next year ...

I hope everyone had a great weekend. If facebook was any indication of what my friends and family were up to, it was eating, drinking, more drinking and as my friend Karin posted, blowing shit up!

What did I do? Well, first off on Friday I put on my "Team Jeb" tie dyed shirt and walked with my friend in our local parade. What's "Team Jeb?" It's friends that walk in the Relay for Life to raise money for Cancer research. Who's Jeb? He was this larger than life friend that lost his battle with cancer and I had the honor of walking with his wife and my friend, Joan. We really miss him!

The parade was full of local families and businesses showing off their 4th of July spirit. I had a favorite. Check out this awesome Dad and his kids. Happy Birthday, America! Land of the Superheroes ... F' Yeah!

The rest of the day I spent by myself doing this and that. Tim was at work, Jessi had plans and so I hung with the "Golden Girls." Once it started to get dark, we retreated to our basement and waited out the Ka Booms! Our City has a huge firework display and it's about six blocks from our house, so it. is. loud. !!!

Saturday was great. I went solo to my Sister In-Law's Sister's 70th it's only a number surprise birthday party and was able to catch up with everyone and all my favorite nieces and nephews. Tim was at work, again! Oh bother. Soon we can attend everything together as he will have his pesky J.O.B. out of the way.

Sunday we took off for Beach Bum Headquarters, (BBHQ) and we'll be here a few days. The girls snuggled on the way here ... Love these two!

Have a great week, everyone!