Life, Lemons and Lemonade ...

Life ...

All the good stuff that makes us happy. The things we feel accomplished from. The times we turn things around and the gratitude we feel when everything is alright.

That's the promise of life's lemons ... we can make lemonade out of them and that can be soooooo good!

Wait ... What happens to the rotten lemons? The lemons that can't even squeeze out a decent drop ... Do they just "roll on by" and go to some rotten lemon place?

No.

Lemons ...

Here's the truth. Some of us get rotten lemons. Not fit for consumption, not fit for lemonade and not full of any promises. Those of us with rotten lemons in our lives can feel isolated, unseen and hopeless. It's not about having a bad day, it's about something in your life that is so sour fucked-up that you can't even find words to describe how it makes you feel.

How about when we get rotten lemons for family? When we're young, we don't know what to do. We feel hurt, we feel pain and we feel shame. The journey through shame as a child can be crippling. It feels unfair, it feels heavy and it definitely feels rotten.

So what can we do? 

Try sorting your lemons. Find a place to separate those rotten lemons in your life. Most likely they have been so powerful  that they even have a voice that you replay in your head. "Why did I get a bad father?" "Why didn't my mom care?" "Why didn't I matter?" "I wish I was special." "I wish I had a family."

Lemonade ...

The truth about this "lemon thing" is ... you can have a good father by being one or marrying a man who is a good father to your children. You can have a mom that cares through who you marry or being one yourself. You are special and you do matter if you can find a way to love yourself. And ... go ahead and create the family you deserve.

Life, Lemons and Lemonade ... You get to choose.

What is beauty?

Beauty?

Imagine a world without reflection. NO way to know what we look like. No glass, No puddles, No cameras, No selfies, No good, bad, neutral or "magic" mirrors ...

Let's say I'm walking down the street and I see "you." I might entertain the thought that I look  just like "you." You might think you look like "me." Then what?

Well, firstly, we couldn't label each other. I can't think, "she's ..." because that means I'm "..." How great would that be? Think how lovely our world could be if we threw out judgement and mirrors ... We could just get up and go!

Beautiful!

What is beauty and why is it in the "eyes of the beholder?" ...  Isn't beauty what we radiate like the warmth from the sun? I don't mean physical, a face or body ... I'm talking about the beauty that comes from inside. The "light" that really draws us to people.  Now that's beauty! 

If we remembered that bodies are just the "vehicles" we were given to mobilize our spirit and soul ... we'd begin to see that judging and labeling a human being based on their physical appearance is comparable to us judging someone by the car they drive.

Silly!

It might be natural to assume that I'm only talking about judging people less fortunate in the "looks" department. No. That would be incomplete. "Beautiful" people get labeled just as much and is that any fairer?

 No!

I'll admit that I've done plenty of "judging" and I've been "judged" plenty of times. One thing for sure, neither feels good. I'm consciously changing that. First by trying to "catch myself" and second by trying to "deflect" the incoming bullshit from assholes others ...

You with me, beautiful !?!

Dog Blog ... It's Bailey's Birthday!

Happy 3rd Birthday to our Bailey Bacon!

This girl has had three great years. For those of you who don't know, Bailey was born in Nebraska. She's a Corn Husker! Why a puppy from Nebraska? Why not one from Oregon?

Well, here's the short version of her story. We lost our 3 year old Golden, Brandy, tragically the summer of 2011. A huge hole was left in our family. Three days after her death, I set out to find another Brandy. I spent hours on the phone and the internet looking for the girl that was going to fill the hole in our hearts.

I found Bailey in Nebraska and she was 3 weeks old. Here she is with her sister as we watched her grow up from afar.

On the Left                                                 Miss Red                                       Too busy to stay on the wagon

So many of our friends and family rallied around the arrival of this little girl. She had over 90 Facebook friends by the time she made it to Oregon and then the fun began ...

          Bailey in the Airport                                                 In Omaha!                               Jessi, Bailey and I on the plane

What a Girl!

Oh the adventures that girl has had. She's been fun loving and we are so happy we found her.

Look how lovely she is ...

Always smiling, Bailey's world got better when she was 18 months old. We got her a Sister. Little Sister Bella is a Duck. She came from Eugene, Oregon. You would never know that they are not related. Bailey is Bella's Mama ... What a wonderful bond these two have ...

These girls will be celebrating with cupcakes today.

Happy Birthday, Baby! We love you!

Is Happiness your Fate?

Life

It hits us all in different ways. One thing that seems the same is none of us escape being broken and flawed in the process.

Broken

Being broken is an act of terror for most of us. Someone or something hurt us, manipulated us, exploited us or lied to us. Did they do that as an act of terror or were they simply paying it forward? Broken people seem to be stuck in a cycle.

Flawed

Nobody's perfect. Really, nobody! We all have flaws. We wouldn't if we could choose not to, but there are too many things that can go wrong before they go right.

So, if this is our life and we're broken and flawed, what do we do? First we take inventory of what we've done in the past. Has it worked? Did anything change? If you are not completely happy, the answer is likely, No. The reason for that is if something isn't changing, we need to change the dance.  

Sabotage 

Like sabotage. Do you want something really bad and when you get close to it, you blow it? Weight loss and relationships come to mind. What is with getting within 5 lbs. of a weight loss goal and diving head first into a tub of ice cream? Why when you've found the partner of your dreams do you create drama? Is it that you don't deserve happiness? No.

Fear

It's fear. Fear controls many of us. Fear of the past, fear of the present, fear of the unknown. How can we find freedom from our fears? The answer is in your mindfulness. Being mindful is being fully conscious of the present. What's behind you and what's ahead of you have nothing to do with what's in front of you.

What's in front of you is your power to do more than survive. Living is the next step after survival. Let go of the past and give yourself the chance to fully live.  LET GO OF THE PAST.

Fate

Do you tell yourself you want to be happy? What if happiness is your fate? Does that mess up your plans to sabotage yourself? Is that so deep of a subject that you need to dig yourself out? Relax. There's help.

Try this. Find that little guy that talks to you in your head and put him in charge of your thoughts. A "Hall Monitor" of sorts. He's now in charge of "catching" your thoughts. Once he's "caught" one it's time to question it. Here's the quiz:

1. Is it true?  2. Does it serve me?  

I find that 100% of my ill-willed and sabotaging thoughts are neither of those. "They don't care about me." Is that true? No. Does it serve me? No. "I'm fat." Is that true? No. Does it serve me? No. "I can't." "I'm not good enough." "I'll fail." ... You get the picture.

Happiness

Try this. "Can I change my behavior?" Yes. Will it serve me? Yes. "I deserve to be happy and in healthy, loving relationships with myself and others." Is that true? Yes. Does it serve me? Yes ...

Time to find your truths and let them serve you ...