How's your day?

Hey, How's your day? 

That's a question we all ask and get asked way too little. We can be walking with a storm in our heads, emotions that are exhausted and with life's twists and turns that have left us limp. On top of that, we can be lonely in any given moment.

So that's our side, but what about the other people that cross our paths? The people who wait on us, the people we live with, those we work with, for and against. What about that stranger who's moving slow or without intention. Are they just slow? 

No. 

It just may be that they have nowhere to go or if they did, they don't want to make it there anytime soon. There are those things in life that we wish would be gone by the time we get there.

This week I was at an appointment and the person who I encountered was harsh. Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe that was just her authentic self. Either way, I was having the kind of month day that left little room for harsh. After the appointment, I went to the parking structure and I sat in my car for about an hour staring at the rain ... 

I really don't know why I did that other than I was deflated and could not bring myself to start the car. You see, I've been going through some very difficult things and the way the person acted set me into a sort of paralysis that I don't experience too often.

So ...

Since then, I've put some thought into this. What was it? Was it that she was harsh or was it that I was sensitive? She was harsh. Was it that she made a spectacle in front of other people?

No.

It was because she never ever took me into account. She was so busy and in such a hurry that she was larger than the room. The truth of that is she didn't even see me.

She didn't know that if she had,  she might have been prompted to ask me how my day was going. I would of told her, "Not so good." Maybe then we could have slow danced and there would have been some give and take. Maybe then I could have breathed. 

We've all been on both sides of this equation. We all know how bad it feels to be invisible when we really need to be seen. This is just a reminder that we should pause and look at who we're with. See their eyes, their expression, their spirit and add these three simple words ...

 How's your day?

What is beauty?

Beauty?

Imagine a world without reflection. NO way to know what we look like. No glass, No puddles, No cameras, No selfies, No good, bad, neutral or "magic" mirrors ...

Let's say I'm walking down the street and I see "you." I might entertain the thought that I look  just like "you." You might think you look like "me." Then what?

Well, firstly, we couldn't label each other. I can't think, "she's ..." because that means I'm "..." How great would that be? Think how lovely our world could be if we threw out judgement and mirrors ... We could just get up and go!

Beautiful!

What is beauty and why is it in the "eyes of the beholder?" ...  Isn't beauty what we radiate like the warmth from the sun? I don't mean physical, a face or body ... I'm talking about the beauty that comes from inside. The "light" that really draws us to people.  Now that's beauty! 

If we remembered that bodies are just the "vehicles" we were given to mobilize our spirit and soul ... we'd begin to see that judging and labeling a human being based on their physical appearance is comparable to us judging someone by the car they drive.

Silly!

It might be natural to assume that I'm only talking about judging people less fortunate in the "looks" department. No. That would be incomplete. "Beautiful" people get labeled just as much and is that any fairer?

 No!

I'll admit that I've done plenty of "judging" and I've been "judged" plenty of times. One thing for sure, neither feels good. I'm consciously changing that. First by trying to "catch myself" and second by trying to "deflect" the incoming bullshit from assholes others ...

You with me, beautiful !?!

Mirror, Mirror, Who is that in the Mirror?

I'm not going to lie to you. I've always hated mirrors. I never see what I want to see. I never feel what I want to feel. I just look and think, "oh well' ... I'll go on a diet and then I'll "look" better.

Isn't that what we think its all about? How we look? I've spent most my life being vain worried about how I look. I even had "Halloween Pants" for years. What the hell are those? This one pair of black pants that I would put on each year to measure my "worth."

Luckily, more years than not, they fit. I have no idea what happened to those pants. Pants that determined my worth should have had a ceremonial burning of some sort.  I wish I had those "Halloween Pants" now ...  Burn Fuckers, Burn!

How can a pair of stinking pants have so much power? They didn't. I gave it to them. I tortured myself worrying about what people thought of me. It has always been about THE PANTS!

What kind of pants? "Magic Pants" ... The pair I thought I looked skinnier okay in. In black. I'd be  afraid they'd go out of stock so I'd buy a few pairs in 3 different sizes for those "fluctuations" in my self esteem weight.

So as I lost weight this year, I was putting on those "magic pants" until they all fell off of me as I shrunk and people started asking me where I got them. "Those are so cute!" Okay, what the hell happened? I'd worn that size those pants before. No one except me said they were cute. Truth is they were all of a sudden "cute" because the "magic" was that my shape changed.

So yesterday I passed a mirror in a store. I saw an image and thought, "Is that me?" I looked around to see if anyone was watching and walked back in front of the mirror. There I was in my shorts. I saw my front, my side, my front, my butt, my side. You get the idea.

It was me! I looked athletic. I looked strong and lean. I looked healthy.

I came back to the beach house and told Tim what happened. I told him how athletic I looked. He said, "I know." I told him how my shape had changed. He said, "I know." I told him how happy I am. He said, "I know." He always knows.

That mirror was a who needs "Magic Pants"moment. It's about being Strong and Healthy. It's about Feeling Good. It's about Loving Myself ...

Who was in that mirror? Just Me!